Wanna join the Feminest book club? Of course you do. ;)
The first Tuesday of every month, I'm selecting a feminist, business, or self-help book to review for that month. And, rest assured — if I'm featuring it — there’s something you oughta know!
This month I'm covering White Hot Truth: Clarity for Keeping It Real on Your Spiritual Path from One Seeker to Another by Danielle LaPorte
Takeaway #1 - You are the power
It's a bit counter-intuitive, but Danielle essentially says at the end of the day, you don't need her. You don't need her, or a guru from India. Nor do you need crystals from a cave in Brazil or an energy cleansing. All you need is yourself - you have everything you need.
I love that.
I see this with my clients - obviously they come to me for coaching, but what I see more than anything is people come for validation and what I want to do first is shake them "yes! you're amazing" and then I want to squeeze the fear out of them and send them off with a proper you-got-this-goddess butt slap (or a box of validation). 'Cause really (and even if I am selling myself short here), you don't need me either. You got this.
Takeaway #2 - The importance of allowing yourself to change
In the book, Danielle says, "I want to burn everything I've written before this morning" and rolls her eyes at prior offenses/opinions. "But that's what I felt then and it might still serve someone where they're at now." She adds, "You may stand for something your whole life... and then one day you do something that's completely counter to what you've been preaching... you make an exception to your own rule and it makes perfect sense and you're not a hypocrite you're just alive to your life in the moment, ever-changing."
Then she quotes Anaïs Nin:
“We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations.”
Oh, we can get so in our heads, can't we? Especially being online we feel like we need to be "on brand" and not allow ourselves to grow, rethink and step-out-of-line. Allow yourself to evolve your brand. Apologize for things when necessary and grow.
Takeaway #3 - The best self help is self compassion
"Love the you, that you out grew." As we grow we're not going to be mature in all parts of ourself. The more we can give ourselves a break and practice some self compassion, the better."
The first time I heard of this concept of self compassion over self-esteem was from this TedX talk by Kristin Neff. Watch it. It's worth the 19 minutes:
Takeaway #4 - The difference of gratitude and acknowledgement
"Pain is pain... gratitude is not always the best initial response to a challenge. Our suffering doesn't want to be denied or talked down to with spiritual platitudes. It wants our attention. It's screaming for it. When we paint over pain with premature positivity, we short circuit our healing."
I don't think I can build on how concisely she put this, so I won't.
Takeaway #5 - Different perspectives on desire
"The Catholics - if you want it, you have to go through God to get it
The Buddists - Your problem is that you want it
The Zen Buddists - What's to want?
The Hindus - You wanted that in your last life
The Capitalists - You gotta want it more than anyone else
The New Agers - Just keep telling the Universe how much you want it
Everybody wants what they want but New Agers are particularly set out to manifest and co-create and master the universal secrets to what they want."
On manifestation practices - "They skew heavily toward getting what you want instead of being what you want." So much getting keeps us in the materialistic trap.
"Get clear on your core desired feelings."
She plugs her book The Desire Map here which I'm not gonna lie, is in my queue. So many clients tell me their desire is to connect with others or be "known" and it's not until we break it all down that we find, a lot of times, they're already doing what they desire.
Rating: 5/5 (and the first 5 I've given so far!)
Danielle LaPorte knows the New Agey world and approaches it with a wise, loving and analytical eye. I highly recommend it to anyone who needs a boost and a fresh look on spirituality, boundaries and empowerment.
Now, for your thoughts! If you’ve read White Hot Truth, what would you rate it? Do you agree or disagree with anything the book has to say?
Have a book suggestion? Let us know in the comments section below!
Next month I'm featuring Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action by Simon Sinek! Read it with me!