FEMINEST BOOK CLUB: The Compound Effect: Jumpstart Your Income, Your Life, Your Success by Darren Hardy

Wanna join the Feminest book club? Of course you do. ;) See this post to learn more on how to join and check the events page on when the next book club is going to be!

The first Tuesday of every month, I'm selecting a feminist, business, or self-help book to review for that month. And, rest assured — if I'm featuring it — there’s something you oughta know! 

Last month I covered Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone by Brené Brown, which won't surprise you much, it was awesome, I mean, we're talking about The Dr. Brené Brown here. She's a force.

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This month I'm covering The Compound Effect: Jumpstart Your Income, Your Life, Your Success by Darren Hardy (I chose it because it's highly recommended by my friend and talented coach T-Annwatch her video on it here!). Here's my review in 3 takeaways:

Takeaway #1 - Own your choices

Book chapters:

  • 2 - Choices

  • 3 - Habits

  • 4 - Momentum

  • 5 - Influences

  • 6 - Acceleration

Chapter 2 was one of my favorites, and I'll keep it in my pocket for future listening when I need a pick me up. I had a friend who talked about certain books being good "ear worms" - content that lifts you up, gets you out of your head, and in a brain space you want to be in. You Are a Badass is one of those for me and I'll be adding this chapter to my "ear worm" list.

Hardy saying things like "wake up", "stop pointing fingers", and "successful people are willing to do what unsuccessful people aren't" are very helpful reminders for me to take ownership for how I'm creating my life, what thoughts I think, what I say, and what I do.

Ultimately, I'm choosing how much time I'm spending on Instagram, whether I eat that cookie, email that total "it's a long shot" contact, and/or crawl out of my bed to meditate in the cold morning when all I want to do is hit snooze one more time, stay in my warm cozy bed and close my heavy heavy eye lids.

Hardy compares compound effects of choices to money that for every $1 you spend today will be worth $5 in 10 years and $20 in 10 years. You can view this in a negative way and a positive way. That for good choices you'll reap the benefits down the road and poor choices you won't. 

Takeaway #2 - Where are you going?

Hardy quoted a story that goes something like this, "there was a man riding a horse down a path, a passerby asked him where he was going and the horse rider replied 'I don't know, ask the horse'." 

It's hard to be intentional about every single aspect of our lives. But if we can take a moment to choose a couple of different habits that we can re-evaluate and decide to take action on the better we'll be.

I chose to focus on two different habits in my life, I'm going to save the full explanation for a later post but here are the two that I chose:

  1. Starting an actual, serious meditation habit for 21 days (which I successfully did!)

  2. Tracking my instagram use for 21 days - how long I was on it, and what I was doing. It was alarming and frankly, embarrassing. At the end I created instagram "rules" for myself - to keep me in check.

Takeaway #3 - Maybe this vibe isn't for me?

So good. But I can't give it a full 5 out of 5 because ultimately voices and energy like Darren Hardy are too... masculine, macho, dude? I found all the methods to be extremely methodical and calculated and it didn't leave a ton of room for the flow of intuition. Also, the emphasis on performance and accomplishment can be a bit overwhelming - even if it is in small increments. 

Funny enough I came across this video "Too much happiness? Resisting the self-help craze in Denmark". "But as the pressure to keep striving for more happiness and success intensifies, Danish author Svend Brinkmann argues that a healthier approach might be to reject the self-help craze and learn to say 'no.'" It really resonates with quotes like, "...you're forced to develop and improve with this whole positive attitude" and "Now we think we're suppose to be happy and positive all the time, and maybe, paradoxically it makes us feel miserable."

I love self-help - but there are times I leave it feeling more like shit than motivated. I think I need to do more navigating around what voices resonate and don't.

Rating: 4/5

Recommendation:

For people who are wanting to start something new or kick a bad habit, the "choices" and "habits" chapters are great.

Next month I'm featuring We Should All Be Feminists by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie! Read it with me!

Have a book suggestion? Let us know in the comments below!

#FEMINESTCHATS VIDEO INTERVIEW WITH DOMINI MARSHALL OF HER WORDS

Here's the fifth interview in the #feminestchats video series with the lovely Domini Marshall of Her Words, which is a space for women to share their stories. You should take some time and browse the amazing interviews she's done, they're powerful and raw (like talking about having your first orgasm).

0:15 - Scale from 1-10, 10 being the highest - how are you feeling right now?

0:28 - I had the best time at your Her Words dinner. What’s the best advice on how to host an intimate dinner party with as large of a group as you had?

1:12 - You mentioned one of the best things you’ve had to eat recently was a croissant and coffee from your favorite spot - All Are Welcome Bakery…. What’s your “desert island food”? Would it be that or something else?

1:26 - You told me you wanted to live in Paris, why?

2:06 - So with Her Words you focus on representation and storytelling to raise empathy and educate through stories… what feminist topic do you think has the least amount of representation and storytelling around it that needs more attention and empathy?

3:02 - As a writer and filmmaker who works with brands and businesses to create content, what’s your #1 piece of advice on good content creation?

3:44 - Why do you think storytelling is so powerful? - Paul J. Zak

4:53 - Who is one of your favorite story tellers? Mariam Issa

5:25 - What's one of the harder aspects of your work?

5:53 - You created her words and hosted your launch party on International Women's Day 2017. How did that feel?

6:03 - I asked you what businesses inspire you and you told me 3! Which ones were they? Of Kin, The Equality Institute and Grace Papers.

6:43 - You said you’re an avid reader and can’t choose a favorite book. What’s the book you recommend the most? The Eye of the Sheep by Sofie Laguna

6:58 - So you said that one book that has made a lasting impression was Just Kids by Patti Smith and that it was so inspiring, dreamy and romantic. Would you say you’re a romantic?

7:09 - Well good. Because you also mentioned falling in love with poetry when you did your creative writing honors. Do you write poetry?

7:46 - What was it about A Little Life: A Novel by Hanya Yanagihara that made you cry so much?

8:31 - How do you feel about money?

8:37 - Favorite podcast? Guilty Feminist, Pretty for an Aboriginal (mine), Starving Artist

9:15 - One of your favorite things to do is go to the movies and watch a film by yourself. Where do you sit in the theater?

9:28 - Do you get snacks? Or bring your own???

10:15 - Best piece of advice for a new business owner?

10:49 - I asked you what you wanted written on your gravestone and you mentioned not wanting a gravestone, and that you’d like to be cremated and thrown into the ocean. Do you care which ocean?

10:57 - Who do you think I should interview next? Of Kin and Elle Steele

How do you feel about this new format? I'm changing things up and aiming for a Vogue 73 questions vibe that's a bit faster paced.

Missed the first one with futures trader, Jamie Nugent, all about money mindset?? Check it out! Or the second with graphic designer Lidia Varesco Racoma? Here it is! Or maybe the last one with Andrea Klunder? Go watch! Or brand therapist Leisse Wilcox - have a watch.

Know of anyone that I should interview? Looking for strong feminist business owners that have a story to share!

FEMINEST BOOK CLUB: Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman

Wanna join the Feminest book club? Of course you do. ;)

The first Tuesday of every month, I'm selecting a feminist, business, or self-help book to review for that month. And, rest assured — if I'm featuring it — there’s something you oughta know! 

Last month I covered The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life by Mark Manson. Which is now the book I will recommend to anyone who is new to the self-help world!

This month I'm covering Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman

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I'm not going to lie. I didn't finish book. The only reason why I picked it was because I needed to order my audible books before I cancelled my accounts and I had so many self-help books, I thought something that was more psychological would be a great way to mix things up. So this was it. Guys, I didn't love it.

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Which is crazy because it has so many high reviews!

  • Goodreads - 4.1/5 out of 179,588 votes
  • Amazon - 4.7 stars out of 2,924 reviews
  • Audible - 4.3 out of 8,674 ratings)
  • Google says that 92% of users like it (whatever that means)

And the NYT's says "It is an astonishingly rich book: lucid, profound, full of intellectual surprises..."

Here are 2 takeaway's anyway!

Takeaway #1 - Humans aren't rational

When we enter into a situation we bring biases, stereotypes and preconceived notions. This is the case for statisticians as well! For a long time psychologists understood humans to be rational, when really they aren't and can be heavily influenced. For example, In one experiment, experienced German judges were inclined to give a shoplifter a longer sentence if they had just rolled a pair of dice loaded to give a high number. What? Insane. I've heard of a similar situation that if you give a judge a snickers bar before the ruling it will typically will be a lighter sentencing. Judges, yikes.

Takeaway #2 - Our brains work in two systems

System 1 essentially is like our brain operating in co-pilot mode. We don't really have to pay full attention to where the home button is on our phone but kicks into System 2 which is more manual work like parallel parking and needing to concentrate on long form math.

Our System 1 brain is more emotional and System 2 is more logical but we use our System 1 way more than System 2 and really don't like using our System 2 as it takes way more effort.

In the past advertising thought customers were persuaded by rational things like cost value when really customers are swung more by emotional messaging, how it makes them feel. So you see detergent ads go from practical to sympathetic. (side note, how much does it hurt reading that 50's ad?)

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Rating: 2/5

Recommendation:

Instead of reading the book I recommend you to read the NYT review. Even my gal pal, who reads probably 5 books a month liked it, but agreed it was too long.

Have a book suggestion? Let us know in the comments section below!

Next month I'm featuring Braving The Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone by Brené Brown! Read it with me!

 

FEMINEST BOOK CLUB: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life

Wanna join the Feminest book club? Of course you do. ;)

The first Tuesday of every month, I'm selecting a feminist, business, or self-help book to review for that month. And, rest assured — if I'm featuring it — there’s something you oughta know! 

Last month I covered White Hot Truth: Clarity for Keeping It Real on Your Spiritual Path from One Seeker to Another by Danielle LaPorte. Which was the highest rated book yet!

This month I'm covering The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life by Mark Manson

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I'm not going to begin how I typically do. Because this book has impacted so many people around me -- friends, clients and my husband. I asked one of them to give her biggest takeaway from the book, this is from Jen of A Fresh Event:

"What I loved about the Subtle Art is that it gave me permission to simplify things and to, in a way, reclaim who I truly am. For example, we come into this world not giving a fuck and we live these great little person lives and then, over time, we are conditioned to start to have to give a fuck -- about anything and everything -- and because of that, it clouds our purpose, changes who we are and our behavior. This book gives you the tools and the permission to say "fuck all of that" -- to truly work to focus on the things that you SHOULD give a fuck about and to say "fuck off" to the things that don't need or shouldn't have your attention. Very quick and inspiring read."

Takeaway #1 - Don't focus on the lack of what you have

When you focus on what you don't have, that's what you have. "We're constantly told that we need to want more, be more, do more." Just don't!

"No truly happy person feels the need to stand in front of the mirror and recite that she is happy, she just is."

We should only "give a f*ck about what is true and immediate and important. "

This is all so no-brainer here. But jeez, a great reminder to stop wanting more, more, more because it will never, ever, be enough.

Takeaway #2 - Accept the bland and mundane truths of life.

"Your actions actually don't matter that much in the grand scheme of things." This is so freeing to me actually! I could see how someone could take this and think "then...so what?" Well, exactly! Just do you, no one else matters or cares (of course, except those who do actually matter).  Be free to accomplish what you wish to, not what you think you're suppose to.

"The ordinary is what matters." And really, is what is so, so beautiful.

Takeaway #3 - The value of suffering

Because suffering is inevitable the question we should be asking isn't "how do I stop suffering?" but "Why am I suffering? For what purpose?" We all suffer. But when you have meaning behind your suffering you're able to endure it and maybe even enjoy it.

Takeaway #4 - Take responsibility for your f*cking life

"We are responsible for everything in our lives. No matter the external circumstance... We don't always control what happens to us. But we always control how we interpret what happens to us and how we respond." You are always choosing. "We are always responsible for our experiences, it's impossible not to be."

Manson tells a story of some teenagers who suffer from extreme Obsessive Compulsive Disorders and one of them states "I didn’t choose this condition but I can choose how to live with it." So powerful!

Takeaway #5 - "I guess walking isn’t for me."

"Children fall down thousands of times when they are learning how to walk, at no point do they think "I guess walking isn't for me, I'm not good at it". Avoiding failure is something we learn latter in life."

"If we're unwilling to fail, we're unwilling to succeed."

Takeaway #6 - Emotions make things more complicated 

Manson talks about how he gets emails all the time people asking him “How do I.... (fill in the blank)?" Like "how do I tell my parents that I can't stay in medical school?" You just do it. It’s our emotions that get in the way and make things more complicated. Hence - the big ass box of validation that I felt people were asking me to give them. You can do this. You're capable. You're a power. And now move on and do the thing.

Takeaway #7 - Just start acting

I have this thing that happens to me sometimes where I get lost in thought and start to stare blankly at my computer screen. How do I "shake out of it?" - I just start typing gibberish on the keyboard. And somehow it breaks me out of the train of thought and I'm able to refocus.

Sometimes to get shit done we need a strong emotional reason and sometimes we just need to start to take action.

Other times when I don't want to start something that needs to get done I set the timer for 10 minutes, in fact I did it just now. I tell myself "Okay, just work for ten minutes and then you can move on." But I know that starting is the hardest part and once I do that, I'll start to enjoy it and work for an hour.

Takeaway #8 - And then you die

"Oddly it was someone else's death that gave me permission to finally live, and perhaps the worst moment of my life was also the most transformational."

My dad died October of 2016 (over a year ago). He had suffered from pancreatic cancer that we thought had gone away but like a typical cancer case, came back with a vengeance and took him with 5 months. Losing him to death, when he gave me life, felt unnatural. Which is strange because death is one of the most natural experiences there is in life. I felt abandoned, which is also strange because at the time I was (and still am) married, with two children and fully independent.

I then felt the depths of nihilism. My dad was a "do gooder" and touched a lot of people's lives. But even those people he affected would just die too. We're all just going to die. So. what?

But then the tables turned for me. If we're all going to die, why not make the most with what we have? Why not do whatever we want, now? Not when we have enough money, or job, or whatever it is -- do it now. And that's when I decided I wanted to move across the world. (and here's an update on that)

I'm sitting here typing this from a tiny couch while my two babes and husband are sleeping in a 500 square foot airbnb in Melbourne, Australia and couldn't feel more badass about it. There are so many unknowns with life right now. Brandon doesn't have a job, my business is changing a ton,  we literally don't have a clue where we are going to be living in 3 weeks. But I feel so alive and so present, more than I've ever felt as an adult with real life responsibilities. 

Rating: 5/5

Recommendation:
I recommend this to anyone, but especially people who think self help books are stupid but yet they need it. Manson's writing is very no-nonsense, entertaining, and poignant.

Alright, what did you think? Did you find his voice abbrassive? Comforting? Funny? Too dude?

Have a book suggestion? Let us know in the comments section below!

Next month I'm featuring Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman! Read it with me!